4 a.m.

In the November issue of Real Simple magazine 12 writers and 1 photographer were asked to answer the prompt: the most MEANINGFUL MOMENT of my day.

Yesterday had been an unusually difficult day for both Katie and myself. There had not been any clear wake or sleep cycles ... just a constant sleepy cry for more food. When she did finally fall asleep at 8pm, I was exhausted and overwhelmed but relieved. I went to sleep at 9:30pm hoping to get a few hours before Katie would awaken me. At 1:30am I completed a REM cycle and awoke with the physical need to feed my baby; however, Katelyn was sound asleep. I was not about to begin the painful cry cycle again in the middle of the night so I bottled 10 ounces and crawled back into bed beside Joe. Just as I was beginning to settle in I heard a faint familiar sound - Katie, but she wasn't crying. I listened while trying to fall sleep for the next hour as she contently played in her crib. Talking to herself, kicking her feet, looking around at the room ... after an hour I needed to check on the situation. She lay there in her crib completely happy!

When she saw me standing over the crib looking down at her with amazement she made another happy noise. I lifted her up and held her as she grabbed onto me, snuggling against my shoulder. After a quick diaper change and 2-3 ounces of milk it was clear that Katelyn just wanted to play. She smiled at me, made adorable sounds, and snuggled. As she finally drifted off in my arms I realized that 4am is the most meaningful moment of MY day. It does not have to be exactly 4am - just anytime during the stillness of the night that my precious daughter and I can spend a few uninterrupted moments together just loving each other.

*It's amazing how God has used Katelyn to change me from being a selfish sleeper who grumbled whenever getting up early to one who joyfully greets her baby girl at any hour of the night. Nursing, although difficult at times, has given me the opportunity to have these moments with Katelyn ... moments I wouldn't trade for all the sleep in the world!